Japanese women redefine stereotype of 'hikikomori'

While 'hikikomori,' or social withdrawal, is usually seen as an issue mostly affecting men, the current way of thinking about it fails to take account of the many women who are effectively—and involuntarily—cut off from society, campaigners and experts say.

Kyoko Hayashi, who is leading efforts to help such women, said she wants the government’s definition of hikikomori, which stresses avoidance of contact with others, to be more inclusive and reflective of the reality facing women.

“There are actually many women struggling, but because of their identified roles as housewives, or those doing household chores, one cannot see that they are actually socially withdrawn and need help,” she said.

Hayashi, 50, also includes in her definition of hikikomori single women who, while they can leave their homes, struggle to maintain a stable job or simply to hold their lives together.

Government statistics about hikikomori count only those who have stayed most of the day and nearly every day confined to their homes for at least six months, avoiding interaction with others, but this does not capture a number of women who for various reasons might have effectively dropped out of society, she says.

One of her projects, Hikikomori Joshikai, aims to reach out to a perceived growing number of female recluses in recent years in a country that has long been battling the issue of social withdrawal, with around half a million people classified as hikikmori by the government.

“I want to meet people,” one woman said recently at a nearly three-hour, female-only gathering in Tokyo of nearly 90 women, who were once or still identify themselves as social recluses.

There is no fixed course of treatment for the condition, as the triggers for socially withdrawing vary for people. It could be a setback in school or work, relationship woes, or any kind of pressure from culture or society.

Hayashi, who dropped out of college and shut herself away from society for two years when she was 26, began earlier this year organizing meetings where such women can gather and also runs Oshare (Dress-up) Cafe, which provides makeup and fashion tips as a confidence booster.

She said she has been surprised at the strong turnout of attendees at the meetings, initially held only in Tokyo but branching out to other parts of the country this month.

Since the first meeting in June, more women have been participating, even from as far away as Hokkaido, Gunma and Shizuoka prefectures.

“In a female-only setting, they are more open and trusting,” Hayashi said, noting that women sometimes find existing, and mostly male, support groups for hikikmori less helpful. Similar female-only gatherings have been springing up recently, a sign of the need to provide such avenues.

Attendees at a gathering in late August ranged in age from their 20s to 40s. Some were shy but some sociable, and some were fashionably dressed.

They were nothing like the country’s entrenched image of hikikomori: lonely, quiet teenage boys or middle-aged men who shut themselves away reading books, playing video games, or staying glued to the computer.

While the government’s definition of hikikomori stresses the avoidance of contact, most socially withdrawn women Hayashi has encountered would like to interact with others.

“Just because they are hikikomori does not automatically mean they do not want to meet people. Most of them actually do wish to. They just do not have the opportunity,” she said.